Wednesday, October 11, 2006

I gotta rant.

Los Angeles was a mixture of fun and disappointment. I finally met up with Kurt, Anj, and Bingle, friends whom I haven't seen in 4 years. They were different, they were established, we were still going on with our old school jokes, and we were still remembering. It was fun no doubt, went around Santa Monica with Gina and her new boyfriend Gello, and not only was I third wheel for the day.. I even ended up being the 5th wheel during the night. I don't mind. Heck I even got a job offer from a family friend who migrated to LA 22 years ago. The last time Mrs. Ambat saw me was when I was a year old. Duuude... That was a loooong time ago. Now she lives in Beverly Hills, owns 3 hospitals and wants me to do be in her marketing department. Sweet!!! The offer still stands even if it takes me 5 years to decide. So I'm set! .... Really? Am I really set for life?

Sure, taking that job will be a sweet buttocks deal. But it won't give me the fulfillment that I've been looking for during all these years I've been existing. Which bring me to what I'm really ranting about.
Anj asked me why I was going back to Manila, I answered, I need to, it's home.
And then it happened. The typical debate that went around when we were in college.
"Well you know you're better off here because you get the recognition you deserve and you get to stand on your own feet, you get to go to places, you live a life that you build on your own"
Everything he said meant every bit of the typical American culture. Living by yourself by the time your 18, going nowhere but up when you land a job in some hot-shot company, you get what you deserve salary wise.
Typical Philippine culture? You live with your parents until you get married, sometimes even if you're married, you still live with your parents. Basically its very family oriented. You don't get to stand on your own feet until you're probably around 30 that's IF you do the family business, but if you do something else, the parents have your back no matter what. You basically live a life that you build together with your family. That's the Filipino culture.
It may be very different, very passe, but its a culture. Its different when you go Korea or Japan or England and etc. Every place has a culture. Right?
What disappointed me further was that I had to convince Anj that even though the Philippines lacks a lot of stuff, we can't give up on our country. We have to try at least do something? Because if those people with the knowledge leave to go elsewhere, who else will be left in Manila? Who will lead? Those traditional politicians who are corrupt and have poisoned their own children to be as corrupt when the time comes?
I didn't come to Mad-town to make a shit load of money or find a job or migrate here. I came here to experience something no one will possibly understand cause it will be solely my experience.
Towards the end of the night, intermingling with my friends... friends. Whom were very fun to hang out with, I somewhat felt sorry for them. It seemed like they lost their true identity ... Being Filipino. Yeah true they get to have better lives than they did back home but will they truly be happy?
I don't know.. They could be.. But I just know there's a lot of things to do back home I don't know where to start or how to help but at least I know I haven't given up. If my dad didn't then I can't. Simple as that.


Blogger Kitri said...

i'd loove to see you in korea :) So my one memory of pizza in korea was my cousins being really pumped for me, and then they excitedly added that they even had kimchi pizza :P

1:35 AM  
Blogger SarahEliz said...

Grace, I am so damn proud of you. You are amazing. And I miss you like hell.

10:13 AM  
Blogger alimadison said...

Helluva blog my dear. You bring up a lot of issues that I've seen many trainees deal with when they come here, but no one has been as frank as you were. Love to talk about it with you sometime. All I know is that you are confident in who you are and whether you're here living it up in Mad-town or back in the Phillipines, I have faith that you'll stay true to what you want out of life.

12:06 AM  
Blogger Jenna V said...

I'm going to pack you up in my suitcase and take you with me wherever I too f'in bad for the Philippines. I'll go visit your fam every once in awhile though so no worries.

2:57 PM  

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